A couple of days ago my day started badly. I thought I had managed to snap out of it but as the day went on I came across more and more hurdles. It is usually the accumulative small stuff that gets to us especially when it is simultaneously all happening at once. I was suddenly asked to attend a Cantonese meeting next week on the day I had debate training with my advanced debaters. Then I had a racist comment during PTA. A parent wanted to speak to me because she wasn’t assured I could speak or teach English given the fact that I’m Indian. That tipped my mood completely. From being annoyed I was furious. It reminded me to some degree of what I had experienced in England. Was I due a repeat performance? It took me the whole night till mid of the next day to change my perspective. What I want to share about is not what happened or why it happened because these are all unimportant in the whole scheme of things but instead how I got my head around it. I was getting a pedicure to love myself and focus on me and was chatting with a friend when his comments hit home. He said “when good things happen simultaneously we aren’t humbled or appreciative but when the bad stuff happens all at once we weep and go nuts.” I am so lucky to have such wise people around me all the time. It got me thinking. I don’t get reflective about the good stuff. The sad truth is when shit happens I weep and complain to the Brit. The whole world seems like it’s made of shit and everything I look at is shit, shit, shit. The victim mode gets played out and I take centre stage. The whole world is against me and I am the main Bollywood actress in the centre of the play…Interesting isn’t it? We forget so easily the happy moments we have had and our minds dwell on the bad moments. I am reading a book by Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” and he explains his life journey of being in a concentration camp during WWII. I was reading about the pain and torture of seeing his mates die and not knowing when his turn would be. Similarly to Malala’s recent global news about being killed by the Taliban because she was going to school. It made me step back and think about what am I really being down about? Comparing your own circumstances to these stories puts things in perspective. At times, even Facebook can add salt to the wound especially when you are feeling low. People’s innocent updates can provoke others to feel envious when they aren’t feeling great about themselves. It shouldn’t be. But when we are low our views about things take a different turn. We see things not with the eyes of truth but with the eyes of negativity. I have one rule (inspired by Richard Carlson) “never make any decisions or judgement when you are low because it is never the right choice”. The glass is aways half empty when we are blue. So it’s best to wait till our moods pick up. The question might be when will are mood change? It’s not about when but what we do to change our mood. I consciously do things that I know can uplift me or bring some love back. It can be anything from chatting with a friend to getting a massage or cooking. Whatever it is that helps you change your mindset- do. Once that’s kicked in; do something inspiring. For me it’s usually reading, writing, blogging, hiking in nature, playing with turtles, running/fitness work or listening to mantras / audio books. At the end of the day it’s a perspective that needs to be altered because we are so used to reacting that at times we just need different stimuli to help us get centered and see things for what they truly are. My life is pretty good really. The Brit is a little annoying at times but apart from that I have very little to complain about 🙂

“You have the ability to choose your reactions.” — Steve Maraboli