Some people are afraid of falling in love. After getting hurt and having their heart broken, they choose not to give their heart away. The fear of someone abusing that and breaking it again prevents them from trusting someone with their heart.
I think that in life we all have fears. Some would find falling in love hard like I mentioned earlier, while some find trying new things difficult while some others find it hard to be sociable. The feeling of being uncomfortable, being not good at something can make a person quit sooner when it comes to trying something new. For those that try to socialize, when they say the wrong thing, they feel stupid. Or when they make an attempt like phoning a person they just met a few days ago and the person never calls back, it can make them go back to their shell, thinking they are not good company as they thought.
I share with you my fears in the hope that you dive deep and see what your fears are and if it is holding you back.
Over a year ago, I joined a cross fit gym. I loved it in the beginning. I loved it because the On Ramp was useful, the trainers were very dedicated and the sessions after were challenging but not to the extent whereby I felt intimidated or uncomfortable. But as I went more regularly, I realized I felt the urgent need to be better. My dead lifts were on 20 kgs weight whilst most women were dead lifting at least their body weight if not more. I also noticed how I couldn’t do a pull up. Again, I felt the need to be able to do it immediately. I felt like a loser. So what did I do next? I left. I quitted. I allowed my fear to stop me from making the most of what was actually very good for me.
By quitting, I gave in to my fear. I quitted on my goal which was to try something new. I knew that cross fit could help me with getting my body fitter. Because I was afraid, afraid of not doing it right and afraid that I was not getting better sooner than I “should”; I felt embarrassed hence I quit.
The strange thing about me is I’m never a quitter but because I am a perfectionist or feel the need to be reasonably good at the things I do, I felt compelled to get better. Instead of giving it time, training harder, I allowed myself to compare with the other more experienced female cross fitters and that changed how I viewed myself.
Today, I am not proud that I did that but I also know that even though I am a fighter and like to challenge myself, I quit on more physical challenges than emotional ones. But it also shows my state of mind and the power my mind has when I had initially decided on doing something.
What has this taught me? It has helped me see that I give in when I am afraid and that it is normal to be afraid of something I don’t know. But I can also choose to be excited about learning something new and not feel the need to compare myself to others. I am now working on looking at it in a different light – “I want more skills and I want to be better at what I don’t know” and the only way forward is to accept where I am right now which is “right now I suck and that’s okay” because everything that happens from now if I put the effort, I’ll be better.
So even though I did quit cross fit, I will get back to it. I know that I still want to dead lift, bench press and do a pull up properly. We all have big and small dreams. I won’t let my fear stop me from getting to my dream of cross fit being a part of my life.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch
“The moment you’re about to quit is the moment right before the miracle happens. Don’t give up.” – Anonymous